But seriously, there has been a lot of talk lately about porn, and also about the “SlutWalk” event.

I just wanted to make a few comments.

First I’m going to copy the comment I made on this post by Drag0nista about #SlutWalk:

“But I was thinking… in some ways ‘slutty’ attire DOES make stranger rape more likely. I was brought up in a lower class background, and I was taught that if someone tries to attack you, you immobilise them if you can, and you run away.

THAT is why you don’t wear a short little skirt, high heels and a barely-boob-constraining bustier top if you’re going out at night. Because if someone does attack you, you haven’t got a hope of striking them in a way that will at least make them pause, or getting away quickly.
When I was in highschool (particularly after a couple of really bad rape and murder incidents in my local area), the emphasis was on teaching us girls how to defend ourselves if we must, but also how to party safe. What is #SlutWalk teaching the highschool girls of today?? “Dress like a street walking prostitute when you go out to the nightclub. No one will rape you because they shouldn’t.”
REALLY SMART.”

The other hashtags that are going with #SlutWalk on Twitter are #yesmeansyes and #nomeansno – which I fully agree with. But what has bothered me, is that the same people who are saying this kind of thing, and being very vocal about how GOOD SlutWalk is, are the same people who were arguing that ‘porn’ shouldn’t be censored or put to guidelines or anything the other night after the contentions on ABC’s Q&A episode featuring feminist Gail Dines.

Their point is, that women should be able to do anything they want, whether it means dressing like a street walking prostitute or watching porn. I suppose that is fair. But considering the kind of porn that is available mainstream on the internet, I really feel like the two ideas (SlutWalk and “yay for porn”) are just not compatible.

Here’s why: I went to popular mainstream pornography producer’s Pink Visual’s main site. Pink Visual specialises a lot in “reality” porn. But here are the names and descriptions of some of their channels (LANGUAGE WARNING) -

“Boob Exam Scam - This is the place to see sluts with huge real breasts get scammed!” – basically, they pretend to have a man pretending to be a doctor treating patients, and becoming unprofessional. Now, of course that is fake, because if that happened in real life it would be lawsuits and scandals. But they produce this stuff because people get off on the idea of doctors, or people pretending to be doctors, abusing their privilege and basically assaulting women.

“Couples Seduce Teens - These couples go out on the search for gullible young teens to seduce!” Pretty self-explanatory. The story line is that a married couple go and find a naieve teen (18 year old) and trick her into having sex with them. The point is that they trick her, and that is what people get off on.

“Gangbang Squad - See the sluts take four cocks and then get booted ou…” (I’m assuming that is ‘booted out the door’) In this one, women get treated as sex objects, plain and simple – and that is the point. Because people get off on women being objectified.

“She Got Pimped - These black hoes go from ghetto to glamorous, then get tricked into fucking on film.” Again, the emphasis is on tricking women into having sex.

And it’s not just women…

“Tranny Seducers - Sexy she-males turn the tables on unsuspecting men as they seduce straight men into taki…” Tricking again.

Now, of course, none of these people is actually tricked into doing anything, because that is illegal. Does the fact that it is all actually consensual make it ok though? People are still watching this because it’s the reluctance and the ‘tricking’ (which is a euphemism for abusing) they like to see. Pink Visual have done their research well, and they are providing porn that people really want to see.

In a lot of porn, no doesn’t mean no. A girl (or guy) who is being propositioned says “no” and that is seen as an invitation to ‘seduce’ or ‘trick’ or sometimes even ‘force’ her (or him) into having sex.

But of course, it’s only fantasy and people should be smart enough to separate fantasy from reality. Except it’s not the fantasy/reality part that bothers me… it’s the fact that THIS is what people want to see. THIS is what ‘turns them on’. The fake stuff already gives them jollies, how much better could it be for them if they did it in real life?? How many of them think about turning their fantasies into realities?

If popular porn was just pictures of naked people, and people having obviously consensual sex, although it’s not my thing, it probably wouldn’t bother me as much. If people just wanted to see SEX I’d probably think it was at least biologically healthy. But they don’t. They want to see depictions of abuse and objectification.

So… which camp are you going to choose? Are you going to say that porn is ok, even though a huge amount of it does portray abuse and objectification? Or are you going to say that no matter what a woman wears, she should not be seen as a sexual target to be pursued regardless of her personal feelings?

I was reading some stuff the other day on “black-dog bias” (which hasn’t really got anything to do with depression, but stay with me). “Black dog bias is a veterinarian and animal shelter phenomenon in which black dogs are passed over for adoption in favor of lighter-colored animals.” ^[2] Apparently, it is Big Black Dogs (or BBDs as they are known) that people like the least.  There’s lots of ideas as to WHY this occurs – usually to do with Anglo-Celtic superstitions revolving around big black dogs being evil, or Hollywood’s use of scary black dogs in horror films, or similar type stuff. ^[3] Those reasons could also have to do with why ‘black dogs’ are used as a metaphor for depression.

I find all of this rather amusing… because of two very special BBDs that have probably been my saving grace throughout my hardest battles with major depression.

I have always been a cat person. Although we had pet dogs when I was growing up, and I liked them, I didn’t really LIKE them… they were around and I patted them, but I didn’t really have a special connection with them. I thought they were pretty dirty, to be honest (and the main two really were!). It wasn’t until I was 18 that I fell in love with one beautiful dog named Chelsea.

After my first major depressive episode crisis hit, I moved back in with my mum. I was having a really hard time, paralysed with anxiety and just generally really unwell. I didn’t want to see anyone, or do anything, and I just existed in this almost catatonic state.

Chelsea had been a stray dog that had just wandered into the yard at my parent’s business (which was just over the road from my mum’s house – my parents were only newly separated and still worked in the business together) one night during a large party. She was severely emaciated, and scared out of her wits. My mum is a BIG TIME animal lover, and can never turn away a sick or injured animal. Mum nursed her and fattened her up, and they’d been together for a few months before I moved in.

The doctor had told me that I needed to make sure I was spending some time outside every day, to get fresh air and sunlight. I’m not overly fond of the outdoors, and in the beginning it was a trial! But I remember I was sitting out the back one day, on a chair, and Chelsea walked up and sat on the ground next to me, and looked at me. I scratched her head, and talked to her for a bit. She was a really good listener, and it was really soothing. Soon I began to go outside just to spend time with Chelsea. I would roll around on the ground with her and play, or just lay down on the grass, and she would lay down next to me and we’d snuggle and talk and watch the clouds.

Eventually, I got Mr Peri, and although he was also a good friend he was generally too concerned with himself to give the kind of uncomplicated love and understanding that I got from Chelsea (that’s cats for you . When it was decided that Mum and Chelsea were going to move out, Mum organised for me to get Miss Sherri… and we all know how that turned out

Chelsea ended up being sent to heaven, because she developed a naughty taste for hogget on the hoof (which is a BIG no no). She was a strange dog, a real one-of-a-kind. She awakened me to a love of dogs that has become my entire life! However, in terms of how much she really helped me, she was only a preview to the most amazing and profound relationship of my life, with another BBD, my best friend, my constant companion, my shadow, my helper, my doggy son, Lukey

Although I have one black dog, a blonde-tan dog and a tan and white dog, I have to say Big Black Dogs are my favourite kind

1. ^[1]  http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/Foley.pdf ↩
2. ^[2]  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black-dog_bias ↩
3. ^[3]  http://www.dogdiaries.com.au/pet-care-advice/black-dog-syndrome/ ↩

The Ben Song

(to the tune of Bitch by Meredith Brooks)

I hate the world today…

it’s full of lazy bums

who do not pay their way…

I tried to tell you

but you look at me like maybe

I’m out of my tree

but that’s my wife, not me.

Yesterday I cried.

Even though I’m tough,

I have a softer side.

I can’t understand why you’d be so confused

Coz I’m not like you…

I’m a pom, a thai, an aussie,

all rolled into one

Chorus:

I am Ben

I’m a chippy

and my wife’s a crazy hippy

I drive an Isuzu truck

I’ve got 3 mongrel mutts

I don’t smoke, I don’t drink

I don’t like to wear pink

You know you wouldn’t want me any other way…

So take me as I am

just be aware I don’t really have a plan

But be assured that

when you need me I’ll be there

I’m a dependable type bloke

and I will do anything if

you feed me a roast!

Chorus:

I am Ben

I’m a chippy

and my wife’s a crazy hippy

I drive an Isuzu truck

I’ve got 3 mongrel mutts

I don’t smoke, I don’t drink

I could be the missing link…

You know you wouldn’t want me any other way…

Bridge:

If you think you can’t get me figured out -

Feed me and I will be happy.

I think it’s cool, to have lots of tools…

you know you gotta love me.

Chorus:

I am Ben

I’m a chippy

and my wife’s a crazy hippy

I drive an Isuzu truck

I’ve got 3 mongrel mutts

I don’t smoke, I don’t drink

but sometimes I really stink

You know you wouldn’t want me any other way…

I am Ben

I’m a tradie

I have respect for ladies.

I don’t swear, coz it’s bad

Wanna be just like my dad.

I love God and my wife

I’m pretty happy with my life

I know I wouldn’t want it any other way!

Ok… I was trying to make sense of all of the different measurements and amounts etc etc etc of radiation exposure, and I found out it is quite involved and confusing. It’s almost no wonder that none of the news agencies around at the moment seem to be able to make head or tails of the information. So, here’s what I found. I hope it might help you get some more of an idea of what is going on.

One of the problems is all of the different measurements of radiation, doses and exposures, but I think I’ve figured it all out.

The US Nuclear Regulatory Commission sets the acceptable ‘occupational’ dosage of radiation at no more than 5 rems, which is 5000 millirems, or 0.05 sieverts. So that would work out to around 416 millirems per month. ^[1]

It is estimated that the average dose of ‘background radiation’ we’re naturally exposed to is around 300-400 millirems in a year. It can be higher or lower depending on where you live and what you do.

The International Atomic Energy Agency’s guidelines for action sets the level of whole body exposure for optimal intervention with ‘Urgent Protective Actions’ (sheltering, evacuation and iodine prophylaxis) at no more than 10 millisieverts (or 1000 millirems) of ‘avertable dose’ in no more than 2 days, or 50 millisieverts (or 5000 millirems) in a week. The upper limit of the urgent protective actions is 500 millisieverts (50,000 millirems). ^[2]

To compare, a Chest xray will usually give you a dose of about 10 millirems. A head CT scan is about 150 millirems, a chest CT is about 580 millirems, and a Cardiac CT angiogram is up to 1500 millirems.^[3] You would probably get a dose of about 0.5 millirems an hour during a 39,000ft Airplane flight. If you have natural gas in your home you would be getting a dose of about 9 millirems a year from it.

Radiation sickness begins at between 50,000 – 100,000 millirems. Observations of the effects of the atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan found that 50% of the people who were exposed to 450,000 millirems died (i.e. straight away, not from illnesses caused by the radiation over time), and all of the people exposed to 600,000 millirems died. 450,000 millirems is considered the lethal dose to an adult human. The highest dosage experienced by a survivor of the Chernobyl disaster in 1986 was 27,000 millirems. It is suggested that a dose of 10,000 millirems in utero would either kill a fetus, or require a therapeutic abortion due to the injuries it would cause.

Here’s a table of all of the radiation doses I’ve quoted, to make it easier for you to make a comparison.

1. ^[1] http://www.nrc.gov/reading-rm/doc-collections/cfr/part020/part020-1201.html ↩
2. ^[2] http://www-pub.iaea.org/MTCD/publications/PDF/Pub1133_scr.pdf ↩
3. ^[3] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-ray_computed_tomography ↩

So, to start with, here are my top 10 Kitchen Items…

(These are in no particular order!)

Scanpan Cookware

This is no ordinary non-stick cookware. This is non-stick cookware that does everything the others say they do but can never match up to! Scanpan Classicware has pressure-cast aluminium bases, with a ceramic-titanium coating. The heat distribution is incredible. You never turn your stove above medium-low. Everything cooks evenly and beautifully. And the non-stick… it really is NON STICK. I cooked Bear bacon and eggs the other day in the frying pan, and didn’t use oil. Not only did it all cook perfectly (the eggs were delicious), but all it took was a little bit of water, a drop or two of dishwashing liquid and a little scrub with my dish brush and VOILA! It was clean. I have a harder time cleaning our dinner plates than our pots. You can even use metal utensils. The only tricks with Scanpan is that you never put it in the dishwasher (like you need to anyway… although it is dishwasher safe, it’s not recommended) and you have to buy it on the internet. I bought my first set (as pictured) which has the 26cm frypan, the 1.5L saucepan, the 2.5L saucepan and the 6L Dutch oven, retail from a local shop… and then came home and saw on the internet that I could get it for well over 50% less than retail!! I’ve added more pieces since, and my absolute favourite is the 32cm Saute pan which is a similar type of thing to my mum’s old electric frypan (she still uses one, believe it or not. Get with the times mother!), but with all the benefits of the Scanpans (and it’s round…). I also love the 36cm Wok (I got the separate lid as well – great for simmering Thai curries). I’m getting the small roasting pan for my birthday, and I’m hoping later on in the year to get a few more different sized saucepans. I know I will continue collecting Scanpan for the rest of my life, so in a few years I should end up with some of the more obscure pieces like the ‘Puff Dumpling’ Pan, which Bear says will make great ขนมครก kanom krok)

SIGG Drink Bottle

These Swiss-made drink bottles are THE BOMB. I am reasonably environmentally conscious, and I think tap water tastes fine (although I may be the only one in Geraldton who thinks that…) but I hate plastic sports bottles. They always seem to go funny, especially if you ever put anything other than water in them. These bottles are awesome, because not only are they extrusion pressed from single-piece aluminium blanks (which makes them SEAMLESS! No leaks!!!) they also have an amazing coating inside (which is BPA free, for the health conscious) which is completely taste neutral and protects the bottle from being affected by what’s in it, and protects what’s in it from being affected by the bottle. The coating can stand up to even really acidic liquid drinks like pineapple juice or even soft drink. The bottles are so easy to clean, being dishwasher safe. You can also purchase specially shaped scrubbing brushes if you prefer to do the dishes by hand, or sterilising tablets if you are OCD. There are so many different kinds of bottle designs, and pouches and tops and sizes… it’s excellent. I have a plain white 1L bottle with the Active Sports top which suits my lazy butt, because I can drink my water in bed without spilling. They recommend you don’t put the bottles in the freezer, but you can use ice in them (I got some cheap stick shaped ice cube trays from the supermarket to save on having to break up ice cubes… told you I could be lazy.) I’ve had mine for over a year and a half now, and I still use it every single day, and apart from a little bit of the exterior paint coming off at the top, and a few dents and scratches (because I am also really unco) it still works great. (I’ve even *pimped* it by adding stickers and the words กระติกน้ำ (water bottle) in permanent marker )

Global Knives

Anyone who is remotely serious about cooking knows you have to have good knives. I am ridiculously *unco*, and if something is remotely sharp, there is a high chance I will cut myself just by LOOKING at it (yes, I am exaggerating a little, but I do tend to cut myself on even the “safest” of sharp edges…). I’m not quite sure what it is about these Global knives, but I have had my set for over a year now, use them every day, and I have not cut myself once. I haven’t developed superior knife skills – Bear is constantly telling me I chop things the wrong way. They are a little bit different to Western-made knives: instead of ‘rocking’ the blade, you chop straight down. It could be the fact that the knives are designed to maintain an incredibly sharp milled ‘ryoba’ style edge, which means they will slice straight into things with very little force, leaving less chance for the knife to slip and get fingers. It could be the design of the handles, which seem to fit really naturally in the hand – whether that’s my hands (which are Air hands) or Bear’s hands (which are Water hands). The weighting of the knives is really good too, and the handles are hollow, so that the centre of gravity of the knife is at the tang. The best part of all is that you can pretend you are a Samurai when you use them

Sunbeam Cafe Series MixMaster

‘Retro’ styling is very ‘in’ at the moment… Sunbeam have continued the legacy of one of their most popular products, the MixMaster, maintaining it’s very ‘retro’ looks – the current model looks the same as the ones my mother and grandmother had, although there are a few major differences. On Granny’s MixMaster you swivelled the handle on the top to release or lock the beaters. With the new ones, there is an eject button on the handle. The most important functional difference is in the bowl base. Granny’s had a turntable-type thing, which you rested the bowl on, and you rotated the bowl yourself. With the new one, you lock the bowl into the base, and the bowl is turned by it’s own separate motor. The one drawback to this is that you can only use the two included bowls (because of the base locking mechanism), while you could use any bowl that fit with the older ones. However, the included bowls are stainless steel and dishwasher proof (so are the mixing attachments), and the twin motor design ends up giving you effectively 3-way mixing. The bowls are very easy to ‘scrape down’ using an ordinary spatula, while the mixing is in progress. The whole appliance is quite heavy, but it is extremely versatile. With the included dough hooks, I have kneaded bagel dough many times (bagel dough is a very hard, dense dough that takes a LOT of kneading – doing it by hand gave me an RSI!). It has twelve marked speeds, which gives you a lot of scope for choosing just the right speed; particularly handy when you are doing a delicate task like beating egg whites to the perfect consistency. I’ve tried using a few different kinds of mixers, but this one is my absolute favourite. It’s not cheap, with an RRP of $429.00, but it is the absolute *duck’s nuts* (excuse the expression, it’s one I picked up from Bear…) of kitchen mixers. And judging by the tried and tested performance of Mum’s and Granny’s, it will still be going many years from now

Breville HealthSmart Grill

This one I got as a wedding present. There are a lot of these types of grills around, and I was also given one of the ‘George Foreman’ grills (this one in particular). What I really like about the Breville HealthSmart grill, is that it has a full temperature dial that goes from Sandwich toasting to Steak searing. The lid is also adjustable, so that you can set it to ‘press’, or to remain at different heights, which means you can even do things like open grilled cheese sandwiches, or chicken mignons. The other major difference I found between this one and the George Foreman was how easy this one was to clean. The non-stick surface is brilliant, and the ribs on the bottom plate are spaced a finger width apart so you can clean them with a cloth over your finger. It’s stainless steel, so it looks pretty on your counter, or if you are into ‘surfaces’ like I am, it’s light enough that it’s not a major hardship to take it in and out of the cupboard. I have a really good electric combination oven, but I still prefer to use this grill than the grill in my oven.

Eggheads Yolky Egg Separator

If you still separate eggs by pouring them between the shells… WHY???? Using one of these is so much easier!!! I particularly like this one because I think the Eggheads are cute, and it also fits nicely over the top of my drinking glasses, making it easier to separate one egg at a time into the glass before I add it to whatever I am making (avoiding the problem of having to throw away the whole lot when you stuff up the 5th one…)

Zyliss Large Salad Spinner

I bought a salad spinner on the advice of Jamie Oliver, in his book Cook with Jamie. Incidentally, it was that book which helped me transform from a kitchen nightmare to a domestic goddess, and gave me a real enjoyment of both cooking and food that I had never had before. The Salad Spinner creates a whirling vortex of reactive centrifugal force upon it’s contents, causing the droplets of water clinging to the salad to fling themselves outward and through the gyrating basket, hitting the stationary walls of the exterior container, then running down to pool beneath. It is operated by a pull cord… so you can have some silly fun pretending it is a chainsaw, and has a ‘brake’ button which engages a disc brake, so you can stop it quickly and watch the lettuce settle. All round fun for everyone, and no soggy lettuce.

Jamie Oliver Flavour Shaker

This is one I don’t use often, but it’s great fun, and a very cool product. Basically, it does what a mortar and pestle does, but easier and a lot of fun It has a thick plastic shell which clicks together, and inside is a ceramic ball. You place your ingredients inside, click the top on, and shake. You don’t have to worry about it flying out of your hand because it has a good rubber grip on the outside. It also comes with the spoon that makes it easier to get all of your ingredients out. We used it to make Jamie’s Spicy Caribbean Jerk Rub for barbecued chicken on Christmas Eve (which tasted incredible). All the parts can go in the dishwasher, including the ceramic ball. It doesn’t break up palm sugar very well, and Ben didn’t have a lot of joy with coffee beans, but for smashing, grinding, bashing, bruising, crushing etc it is a brilliant solution.

OXO GoodGrips Apple Divider

Now, you may wonder, after I have already extolled the virtues of my Global knives, why I would need a separate device to cut apples… I will go with the excuse of efficiency (although Bear would say it’s really because I just love *gadgets*). An Apple corer generally does a better job than a knife at removing the correct part of the apple while leaving the rest behind. So if you were going to use an apple corer AND a knife, then using an apple divider is more efficient because it’s one utensil instead of two. You might also wonder why I would bother with a specific apple cutting tool instead of just eating the apples… Actually, proportionately, an apple’s skin is thicker than the Earth’s atmosphere. Thanks to a go-kart *accident* (which was actually more like injury resulting from criminal negligence) as a child, my two front teeth are crowns – which are reasonably delicate – and apples are not a good thing for fake incisors (particularly when dentists’ prices are tantamount to extortion). This thing is also dishwasher safe, which my Global knives are not. Not that I’m complaining about having to wash my knives by hand, but dishwashers are more efficient than hand washing, so we’re back to the fact that the apple divider is more efficient. It’s all about economics, folks. (And I can just hear Bear scoffing, saying that it’s really about gadget-hordery…)

And last, but most importantly…

My Trusty Sidekick

Apart from being good company (because I get lonely pottering around all by myself), he has the added advantage of being a ‘mobile garbage disposal’ – if anything falls on the floor, he gobbles it up with relish. I’ve also noticed that the dogs do a very thorough job of ‘pre-rinsing’ dishes (it’s not that gross… dogs mouths are no yuckier than humans, and the dishes go in the dishwasher which uses adequate temperatures for sterilisation ). Admittedly, he is also the biggest problem in the kitchen, due to his perception that the garbage bin is really a cornucopia of interesting and yummy things. One man’s trash is his dog’s treasure